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You did the devotions. You drove them to youth group. You had the conversations. And now they're pulling away, or angry, or telling you what they believe has changed. Before you catalog your failures, consider that the parable Jesus told about a prodigal son was told by someone who understood that faithful parenting doesn't prevent all wandering β and that the father's response when the son turned for home was to run.
Get These Verses Daily β FreeβAnd thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.β
Formation happens in ordinary moments, not primarily in formal instruction. The texture of daily life together is the medium β which means it requires daily life together.
βTrain up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.β
'When he is old' is zaqen β an elder, someone in later life. Some of these promises have a long time horizon. The window does not close at eighteen.
βAnd he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.β
The father saw his son 'a great way off' β meaning he was watching, looking in that direction. He couldn't compel the return, but he kept watching for it.
βAnd, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.β
The two commands work together: admonition lands in a relationship that hasn't been provoked to hardness. You cannot skip the first command and expect the second to accomplish anything.
βLo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.β
Nahalah β an inheritance held in trust, not owned outright. Your teenager belongs to God before they belong to you. They were entrusted, not manufactured.
βAnd all thy children shall be taught of the LORD; and great shall be the peace of thy children.β
The teaching of children is ultimately God's work β you are the instrument, not the source. This is not an excuse for passivity; it is the ground on which you pray.
βTrust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.β
Parenting teenagers requires releasing the illusion of control. Trusting the one whose understanding of your child is not limited to what you can see.
Deuteronomy 6:7 remains the core of Biblical parenting instruction: "thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up." The Hebrew shanan β diligently β means to engrave, to sharpen, to press in repeatedly. Formation is not a program you run; it is the texture of ordinary life together. You cannot outsource it to youth group.
But Moses gave this command to a generation of Israelites who were about to enter Canaan β and whose children would grow up to worship the Baals within two generations. The Deuteronomy mandate did not prevent the book of Judges. Faithful transmission is the calling. The reception is not fully within any parent's control. This is not an excuse to give up β it is a release from the assumption that your teenager's choices are entirely a report card on your parenting.
Jesus' parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15) is almost always read from the son's perspective. But it is also a portrait of a father who had done everything right β and watched his son take his inheritance and waste it anyway. The father doesn't chase him, doesn't manipulate him back, doesn't negotiate. He lets him go. He watches. And when the son "came to himself" and turned for home, the father saw him from a long way off β meaning he was looking β and ran. You cannot compel faith. You can keep watching for its return.
Commentary is from a charismatic Protestant perspective, drawing on KJV text and public-domain sources including Spurgeon, Andrew Murray, and Matthew Henry.
Proverbs 22:6 β "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it" β is often quoted as a guarantee. It is more accurately a principle with a long time horizon. The Hebrew derek can mean "the right path" but also "his way" β the path suited to his particular nature and bent. The verse may be as much about observing who your child actually is before deciding how to form them as it is about guarantees.
"When he is old" is important. The Hebrew zaqen refers to an elder, someone in later life. Some teenagers who wander do not return until their forties. Some Proverbs promises are long-game promises. The window does not close when adolescence ends.
Ephesians 6:4 pairs two commands: "provoke not your children to wrath" and "bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Nouthesia β admonition β means to place something in the mind, to correct with a word. It requires that the relationship has enough trust for a word to land. The parent who skips "provoke not" will find that admonition falls on ground that has been hardened against them.
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