If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, please reach out now. Call or text 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline). Contact your pastor, a trusted friend, or a licensed counselor. What Elijah's story demonstrates is that reaching out is not weakness — it is exactly what the angel modeled when he came and touched the exhausted prophet. God does not wait for you to have your theology sorted before he enters the darkness.
Psalm 34:18 says God is nigh unto the broken-hearted — not near after the brokenness resolves, but nigh in it. The Hebrew word for "nigh" is qarov — close, nearby, present. John 10:10 names what Jesus came to bring: life, and more abundantly. The thief who comes to steal and destroy is not God's plan for you. Jeremiah 29:11 does not promise an easy future — but it names what God's orientation toward you is: thoughts of peace, and an expected end. That expected end is not yours to cut short.
Commentary is from a charismatic Protestant perspective, drawing on KJV text and public-domain sources including Spurgeon, Andrew Murray, and Matthew Henry.